Forum Arane Riders

Gość

This one I read in the bulgarian corner of the roxy forums ^^

An Irish and Polish guys are drinking in a bar. The Polish finishes his drink, takes out a gun, throws the glass in the air and shoots it.
- In Poland - the glass is so cheap that we never drink in a same glass.
The irish says nothing, and when he finishes his drink - takes a gun and shoots the Polish:
- In Ireland we have so many polish, that we never drink with the same one.

****
And one that Cothiro said once:

Two Georgian children are talking
- My dad's penis is sooo big
- My dad's is smaller, but still hurts...

****

Jewish kid asks his father:
- Dad, is America far away?
- Swim, and don't ask dumb questions!

****

Myth busters take a chameleon and put it on a red fabric - he becomes red. They put him on a green fabric - he becoms green. And finaly they spread some confetti on colorful hawai T-shirt, and put the chamelen on top if it and he slowly turns his head towards Adam and says:
- Why don't you go f#ck yourself?!

****

- How do you recognise a rich somalian?
- By the golden rolex on his waist.
----
How do you make somalian wave?
A helicopter flies round over a stadium with a chunk of bread, roped to it...

****

A woman is having an affair during the day while her
husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home
unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom
closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes
home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing
that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and
the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover remembering the last time, asks the
boy, "How much?"
Boy - "$750"
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your
glove, ! let's go outside and have a game of catch." The
boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove." The
father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy
says - "$1,000".

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends
like that... that is way more than those two things cost.
I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy
sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that **** again."

****
You're next!

sinnitar

it is goooood

Gość

Gość

Rofl nice jokes xD
The irish and the polish>all ;D

Gość

A man returns late at night, drunk, his clothes are bedragged, he's all covered in make up...
- What is the meaning of this - his wife shouts hystericly
- You wound't believe it... A clown attacked me...

****

- Why women have bellybutton?
- On the way down - you leave your chewing gum there ^^

****

The japanese built a robot, who catches thiefs.
They brought it in Poland - it cought 10'000 thiefs in 5 minutes
They brought it in Romania - it cought 10'000 thiefs in 10 minutes
They brought it in Bulgaria - in 5 minutes it was stolen ^^

****

Men have evolved from apes. The chinese - from rabbits ^^

****

- How tall is the tallest jew?
- 5 meter flame.

****

During the financial crysis:
- No, sir, your credit card is fine. I wanna check if your bank hasn't expired.

****
Oh, I rememberd this one:

A man returns home at 4AM, drunk, barely standing... He falls on the floor and goes to sleep immediately. His wife undresses him, and sees on his d#ck an used condom. Angry, she sticks it into his anus.
The next month he never returned home late, never went out... One day she asks him:
- Why you stopped going out with your friends?
- Friends?! I don't have friends!

Gość

Gość

Dunno if I had already posted this here, but it's one of my favorites;

Scientists had finally discovered what's wrong with the female brain:
On the left side - there's nothing right
On the right side - there's nothing left

Edit: I hope you don't ban for sexism Razz

sav · Dołączył: 24 Wrz 2006 Posty: 986 Przeczytał: 0 tematów

hahaha AnuTris, I love your jokes ;d i thought that such sexist, racist, xenophobic kind of humor sense is polish thing only, but I can clearly see I was wrong ^^

Gość

Racistic jokes is typical for americans though ;d

Gość

Nemezis

sav · Dołączył: 24 Wrz 2006 Posty: 986 Przeczytał: 0 tematów

oh noes, does Twombley speak english?! xD As far as I can remember he used to say that he doesn't understand ;D

Anyways, moar Very Happy

the one with tetris is also popular in polish version. Personally, my favourite ones are this with wife cheating on her husband etc ;p

Gość

Gość

Superman is flying, when he sees wonder woman lying naked on top of a building with her legs spread. "Hmmm... I'm Superman, I can f.ck her so fast, that whe won't do a thing". He went down, and...
Moment later:
- WTF was that - asked wonder woman
- Some f.ckin' gay - said the invisible man

Gość

Why do you think I'm addicted to cocaine? I just like how it smells

****

Two sysadmins talking
- I bought a book "defend against hackers" - very nice info there.
- Is there a book "defend against lamers"?

****

A friend of mine:
"Yestarday my sister caught me masturbating - she called me "Pervert". Today - when I came into her room - I caught her playing with a dildo. She again called me "Pervert". It's just not fair!"

****

A man goes to the fortune teller:
- I wanna know my future!
- Tell me your IP address!

****

A woman phones her lover:
- Let's see each other.
- OK! Where?
- Come home
- What about your husband?
- He's away. He's playing Lineage2

****

In Bulgaria we work in "Robinson" mode - we wait for the Fridays...

****

Two cassette players meet (if some of you remember these things). A soviet, and japanese. The soviet asks:
- I've hear you got a new tape?
- Yes
- Let me chew it for a while?

****
Edit:

A Bulgarian policeman (bulgarian policemen are famous with their "inteligence") goes to the doctor:
- Doc, I'm getting quite fat, and I don't feel so good lately...
- Start running every day. Run for at least 10 kilometers.
An year later, the mobile of the doctor rings, he answers:
- Doc, I'm the policeman, I wanna thank you - I started running every day for 10 kilometers and now I feel great! There's one problem, thou...
- What problem
- Well... I'm 3650 kilometers from home and I don't know how to get back...